Tip #11

Tip #11: You're an idiot if you think you know what love is while still in high school.

Now now, wait a second. Before you start your angry protestations and dark, brooding thoughts about pummeling me into the ground, I just got say that this is from MY point of view. I am in no wise saying that you, the reader, doesn't know what love is. I'm sure some of you got lucky and probably understand it more than I ever could, but just hear me out.

In the past, I have actually single dated (yes I know, shame on me for you LDS readers). But to be honest, I don't regret it. I have learned many lessons from each experience I've had with the girls that I went out with. Each girl, I have said the "I love you" spatch. Have I meant it? Course I have. A philosophy that I have is to love with an open heart. But what does it really mean to love?

I have watched my friends' relationships with their girlfriends/boyfriends. Each one is more/less different from the other. Yet, from my side, I am left puzzled. From here, it looks like they know what it is, yet they can not explain it either.

In the past, I have often asked my parents what it means to love. I still have not gotten a clear answer. The logical thinking of me is that love is an inexplicable feeling. Like that will do me any good. Which raises the question, how will I know that I am in love? How do I know that it is not just my hormones?

We as teens sure believe that we know but the truth most likely is, we don't know. We often believe that love is when a person can not leave your mind, when almost everything you do reminds you of that person, or whatever song comes on, reminds you of that person. Our hearts may even race a little bit when we think of that special someone or we get butterflies in our stomach. We may even feel happier whenever we're around that person. We often naively suggest that we can not live without that person in our lives or we'll stay single for the rest of our lives because this person no longer sees you as an important part in her/his life.

Such naivity. We have much to learn.

Perhaps there's a small part inside of us that already knows what love is. Maybe even some of us know it, while others are still trying to discover it within themselves. I know that I'm in that second category. I am only eighteen and just a freshman in college. My life is only beginning. But I can not help but wonder. It is human nature after all, to ponder about the inexplicable, to find an explanation. What if I already experienced it and I did not even realize it? What if I have yet to experience it? Questions, questions, questions.

To you, my adult readers who are either married or engaged, my hope is that you will hopefully find some sort of explaination as to what love is and what it feels like, so that I can have some sort of clue. I need something other than, "I just knew/know he/she was/is the one."

To you, my fellow peers, may we figure out what love is and pray that it's not just our hormones talking. If you're not concerned with love, then more power to you. You guys don't have to suffer as much as I do and as others in my predicament. If you have indeed figured it out, help the rest of us out, eh?

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Tip # 10

Tip # 10: Mistakes can be a great teacher.

I struggled with this tip. I really did. But you know, I'm not the only one who did. There are many others, even now, that don't appreciate who they are, either due to mistakes they've made in the past, mistakes they are making now.

Mistakes are a fascinating little paradox. They are our building blocks and at the same time, our stumbling blocks. Yet the tendency towards all is to focus upon how mistakes are the stumbling blocks in our lives. To the perfectionists, it is particularly discouraging because we (yes, me included) try so hard to be perfect and every time we fail, the more we begin to loathe, even hate ourselves. This is particularly dangerous, because this feelings quite often lead to self-misery and sometimes depression, because we cannot reach our goal. We often question "why," "what am I doing wrong," and "what's the point." For those of us who aren't as strong in religion, we question our Maker and even go as far as blaming Him for making you as you are, instead of something like Hollywood-ized men and women. But really, the mistakes that we make should not be seen as stumbling blocks. No, in fact, they should be seen as the complete opposite. I know what you're thinking. "Psh, this guy expects me to see mistakes as building blocks. Is he daft?" But speaking from experience, I began to see why I should see them as building blocks. There is a particular quote from a show called How I Met Your Mother that I am particularly fond of. One of the main characters, Lily, is talking to Ted, the other main character, about making mistakes. Be warned, this is a little bit difficult to follow.

Lily: There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it is a mistake is to make that mistake and look back and say, "Yup, that was a mistake". So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not. And da[rn] it, I made no mistakes. I've done all of this: my life, my relationship, my career mistakes-free. Does any of this make sense to you?

Ted: I don't know, you said 'mistake' a lot.

You follow this? For those who don't, essentially Lily is saying there are moments that will be the ultimate life changing factor. If you don't take that step, you'll never know if that moment would've been worth it.

I have looked back upon my life and I noticed a pattern involving the mistakes I've made. They have all led me from Point A, to Point B, to Point C, and so on and so forth. If I have never made those mistakes, I wouldn't be where I am at now. I wouldn't know the things that I know and I wouldn't be able to help others with the knowledge that I possess. Each mistake taught me something important. It sure as heck may not have seemed like it at the time, but looking back, there are lessons that have been given.

My suggestion to you: Look back at your mistakes, failures, and blunders. Instead of cringing at the memory, look and find a lesson. Figure out how that mistake led you to where you are now, whether it be a happy mistake or a...not so happy mistake. You'll most likely have a startling epiphany.

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Tip # 8 & 9

Tip # 8: A good laugh cures almost anything.
And...
Tip # 9: Stay away from the rubber cement.

There's an old saying that says that laughter is the best medicine. There is hardly a soul in the world that will deny that saying. And some even say that to beat the devil, you laugh in his face. Course I'm not certain about the truth in that statement but it's worth a shot, right?

Anyway, like everyone else, I had times where I felt like crap and didn't really want to talk to anyone. Seemingly nothing could bring my spirits up, until I turned on some comedy shows and looked for some funny scenes from movies on Youtube.

One of my personal favorites is from the show The Big Bang Theory when Leonard, Raj, and Howard are camping out and get some cookies with "special" ingredients from some hippie middle school teachers (Warning! If you have a problem with suggestive humor, I will post another clip that is more appropriate. If not, then enjoy =D):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R73yElC2BDc&safety_mode=true&persist_safety_mode=1

After watching this clip, I was rolling on the floor, nearly bawling my eyes out because of how well they did. I must admit, I felt a little off myself as I was watching them.

Confession time: It was sophmore year in Chemistry class. Around that time, my sense of smell was particularly heightened that day, no idea why. Anyway, we had to glue some papers into our notebooks when, by accident, I caught a huge whiff of the rubber cement glue. It was a very strong scent, so much that I coughed a bit until I settled down. Then the weird stuff kicked in. Within 5 to 10 minutes, I had my very first experience of being high. The results were thus: Everything was funny. Everything my teacher said was funny and everything my lab partners' said was funny.  I couldn't go 5 minutes without laughing and crying. Thankfully, my lab partners were actually stoners so they didn't make too much fun of me but they said I was hilarious. I must admit though, I was in a very cheery mood for the rest of the day.

Important lesson besides the tip that I gave? Keep your nose away from the product below.

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Tip # 7

Tip # 7: Pick up your pencil.

As I'm certain most of you are aware, this month is indeed November. It is the month of fall leaves, and making that almost unnatural transition from summer to winter. It is also the month where art takes the most inspiration, ranging from photography to writing. If you haven't caught on, I'm refering to the NaNoWriMo writing event. Now what this event is all about, the idea is to start a novel and have at least by November 30th at 11:59 p.m. It's essentially a self(ish)-motivator to write a novel. It's quite a feat to do, seeing as though I cannot write to save my life hahaha, with the exception of this blog. 

Why "pick up your pencil?" There are endless possiblities within the human imagination and endless possibilities when you pick up your pencil. With a pencil, incredible stories have been written, important documents have been made, music has been given physical form, pictures have been captured and plucked from imagination, and emotions have been expressed. Simply all at the movement of the hand and a simple idea that evolved within the brain.  I stress the fact that there are endless possiblities because it is so true! However, there are many that doubt that they can even draw a stick figure or even write a simple sentence. To you I say, you never know until you try.

Take me for example. I couldn't draw at all. The only thing I could draw were stick figures that somewhat attempted expressed emotion. I was quite frustrated, especially due to the fact that my kid sister had my dad's artistic ability and could sketch a rather realistic cedar berry tree. It wasn't until my freshmen year in high school when I discovered that I do have some artistic talent. I was in my geometry class at the time and we were supposed to use geometric shapes to make something artistic. I started off with a simple hexagon and then I completely zoned out the world around me. Approximately 45 minutes later, this hexagon evolved into something I never even thought possible. This new found talent would, in later years, become an escape and a defense against the world. It was also then I found that I could draw music into my own unique form, with these geometric shapes.

Whether you be an artist, a photographer, a writer, a musician, or none of these, just pick up a pencil and try to create. You'll find that you are actually more capable of creating than you realize.

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Tip # 6

Tip # 6: Miscommunication should always be resolved face to face.

Typically in olden days, communication was limited to face to face or letters that would take weeks to months to reach a person. Nowadays, we have telephones, IMing, e-mail, and other various forms of wireless communication. The one I would like to point out in particular is texting. Don't get me wrong, it's a very useful but also a bit dangerous. Now if you give me a second to stand on my soap box....

Now then. Approximately one month ago, a friend of mine and I were kind of, sort of, not getting along. He said one thing that I thought meant something else entirely and vice versa. This caused us both to not speak to one another for quite a bit. Eventually, it appeared that things were getting better and it actually was. Until that one Sunday where the miscommunication was at its worst. In which

I overreacted by telling him to stop talking to me and to have a nice life. It is something I am not proud of. However, thankfully, we decided to talk it out face to face to clear up any misconceptions we had.  I came, fully prepared to do my part to fix it, but was a little unsure of what to expect.  It's a good thing though, that we decided to talk it out. Everything turned out great, everything got resolved, and we're friends again.
Lesson learned? I hope so. We'd be idiots if we repeated this experience again.

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